Pasta: Spicy Three Meat Spaghetti with Italian Sausage
Side: Zuppa Toscana Soup
Side: Zuppa Toscana Soup
It was 10am and I was sipping on the finest Pacific Roast Kirkland has to offer when I saw that I had a new comment on my blog. It was a producer from NPR asking if I wanted to be interviewed for Weekend Edition Sunday. Still half-asleep, I replied: sure, why not.
A day later, I was at a voiceover studio in Burbank. I was impressed. I thought they'd just get me on a landline, but shelling out the dough for studio time? This was legit. I walked inside where a mousy receptionist greeted me and told me to take a seat in the waiting area. On the wall were hundreds of framed pictures of celebrities who had come in to record.
Morgan Freeman. Martin Short. Denis Leary. Voices you hear in countless movies and TV shows and commercials. And now, I was there to talk about Olive Garden.
The engineer came and led me into the recording studio. He asked what I was here for and I said I was getting interviewed about the Pasta Pass. "The what?" I explained the specifics. Seven weeks of pasta. Hundred bucks. And now, an interview with NPR. "Wow... alright." Wow, alright indeed.
The engineer came and led me into the recording studio. He asked what I was here for and I said I was getting interviewed about the Pasta Pass. "The what?" I explained the specifics. Seven weeks of pasta. Hundred bucks. And now, an interview with NPR. "Wow... alright." Wow, alright indeed.
I sat in the recording booth and put on my head phones. After a few minutes, the NPR producer called in from Washington DC. She asked me to introduce myself. “My name is Thomas Reyes, I’m from Los Angeles, and I’m a TV writer.”
She asked some basic questions… why I got the Pasta Pass. What my friends think. How I felt after 2 weeks of Pasta Pass. I told her I felt sluggish after the first few days, but I balanced it out with somewhat healthy food and exercise. Said my friends were fascinated by it, and wanted to go with me to different Olive Gardens. That I got the pass on a lark, a fun little experience I could write about.
Then she got to the juicy stuff. The stuff that might get me in trouble. “What do you think of the food? Do you even like Olive Garden?” I was honest. No, I didn’t like the food very much. A few things were decent. The Spicy Three Meat Sauce. I liked the salad. Some of the soups. But for the most part, I’m not a fan.
“Would you go back after the Pasta Pass is over? Would you eat at Olive Garden?” I thought about it for a second… “No. I’ll need a break. Maybe in another ten years.” The producer laughed. I immediately regretted saying it, but I had been eating pasta for the past two weeks, what else was I going to say? My love for Olive Garden has only gotten stronger?
I walked out of the interview feeling bad. Was I too harsh? Too negative? I wondered if Olive Garden superfans would hear the interview and attack me. Wondered if my Pasta Pass would be revoked, if my Minestrone would be spit in, if I would now get one breadstick instead of two.
I walked out of the interview feeling bad. Was I too harsh? Too negative? I wondered if Olive Garden superfans would hear the interview and attack me. Wondered if my Pasta Pass would be revoked, if my Minestrone would be spit in, if I would now get one breadstick instead of two.
The piece wouldn’t air for a couple days so I needed to take my mind off things. Some friends had just bought a new house in Atwater Village so I went over and helped them paint their living room. As a little housewarming present, I brought over (what else) Spicy Three Meat Spaghetti with Italian Sausage and Zuppa Toscana.
I already knew what the Spicy Three Meat Spaghetti tasted like, so I thought it’d be good to get their perspective. They also hadn’t eaten at Olive Garden in over a decade (having last gone when we got drunk there in high school). They liked the sauce, and spaghetti was fine, but they noticed that the flavor had a distinctly familiar blandness to it. Like it could’ve been pasta from IHOP or Denny’s.
We all agreed that the sausage was bad. It was super plain yet incredibly salty. Tough to chew. Then they tried the breadsticks, something that we all remember loving… and they agreed, the breadsticks are awful. They were dense, dry, incredibly salty, and were hardly even cooked, basically raw. “I can't believe we liked these. Maybe we didn’t know any better.”
We all agreed that the sausage was bad. It was super plain yet incredibly salty. Tough to chew. Then they tried the breadsticks, something that we all remember loving… and they agreed, the breadsticks are awful. They were dense, dry, incredibly salty, and were hardly even cooked, basically raw. “I can't believe we liked these. Maybe we didn’t know any better.”
Next came the soup, Zuppa Toscana. It was creamy, with potatoes, spinach, and bits of meatball. It wasn’t bad! The potatoes disintegrated on the 5 minute trip from Glendale to Atwater, but on the whole, I would eat the soup again.
After eating the bland pasta, gross breadsticks, and decent soup, I asked my friends if they could do something like the Pasta Pass. “No way. Maybe for a couple days, max. I already feel kinda gross.”
After eating the bland pasta, gross breadsticks, and decent soup, I asked my friends if they could do something like the Pasta Pass. “No way. Maybe for a couple days, max. I already feel kinda gross.”
After dinner, we put on some Tupac and painted the shit out of their living room. The shade of green we used was called “Rejuvenate.” It was fitting. Getting their opinion put me at ease. The next morning, I went to the NPR website and listened to the interview. My 20 minutes had been whittled down to 3 but the piece was funny and breezy and Ari Shapiro was reading my writing on National Public Radio.
Wow. Alright.
Wow. Alright.